DEDICATION TO MY BROTHER
7/17/08
GREG
I have great compassion, empathy, and understanding for the loss of your loved ones.
Sadly, my brother Greg took his life at age 45 on July 17, 2008.
He was in the Navy 24 years and his 2 daughters were teenagers at that time.
The grief I experienced, along with that of my parents, siblings, and his 2 children was tremendous. I have healed greatly since then. I will assist you to find the comfort you seek.
I wrote this inspiring dedication to honor my brother and about his passing. It includes some of the signs he has given from Heaven.
Senior Chief Gregory, 45, of Virginia passed away Thursday, July 17, 2008 at his home.
Throughout his younger years, Greg was active in the Boy Scouts where he achieved the rank of Eagle Scout. He was an accomplished athlete in high school football, wrestling and baseball. After graduating from high school, he attended community college and university.
For over 24 years, Gregory served our country in the United States Navy providing guidance and mentorship to fellow Navy Sailors. He enjoyed fishing, collecting baseball cards, and antiques.
He is survived by his parents, 2 daughters, 2 sisters, brother, nephew and niece, former wife, aunts, and uncles, along with many dear cousins. He was preceded in death by both sets of grandparents and his uncle.
Much of this was written shortly after my brother passed in 2008.
I will miss my brother Greg terribly.
We are in shock and devastated by his loss.
My younger brother Greg was only 45 years old when he passed.
Greg was a humorous, fun-loving, out-going, happy, optimistic, confident, athletic, successful, charismatic, dynamic, enthusiastic, and larger-than-life person.
At the end of his life, he lived in Virginia and was just 9 short months away from retiring from a 24-year career with the Navy.
He was very proud of and greatly loved his 2 daughters. His oldest daughter will be a junior in high school this year and the youngest will be a sophomore in high school. Both are sweet and loving girls, excellent students, and outstanding soccer players. They live with their mother in Mississippi.
As we all certainly know, life can be very difficult and, at times, seem overwhelming. Life's journey often has bumps in the road, hard knocks, and takes unexpected twists and turns.
My brother Greg went through a painful divorce when his children were very young. He lived far away from his 2 young daughters due to his divorce and several transfers during his career with the Navy. Greg loved his daughters greatly and the separation from them hurt him tremendously. He often expressed how deeply he missed being present as a Dad on a regular basis, watching his children grow up, being part of a loving family, and being a husband. The pain of his divorce and the separation from his children took a terrible toll on him. Over the years, his frustration and depression grew, along with his dependence on alchohol to try to avoid feeling his pain.
My family also now strongly believes Greg suffered from Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) which is a progressive degenerative disease of the brain found in athletes (and others) with a history of repetitive brain trauma. It includes concussions as well as subconcussive hits to the head.
My brother was an excellent athlete and quarterback for his football team. We know of at least 2 concussions he experienced in high school while playing football and 1 concussion while skateboarding and another concussion while sledding. The brain degeneration caused by the concussions of CTE creates personality changes, memory loss, confusion, impaired judgment, impulse control problems, aggression, depression, and eventually progressive dementia. Several prominent athletes with suspected CTE have committed suicide.
My brother tried to be strong for as long as he could. He toughed it out in the face of adversity. Like many of us, he didn't want to appear weak. Greg was a "soldier" to the end.
Despite my family's many pleas and attempts to help him, Greg, like many of us, wasn't the type of person to seek help or take advice. He tried to solve his problems on his own. Unfortunately, my dear brother eventually became overwhelmed by his feelings and challenges. My family had been aware that Greg was unhappy for several years towards the end of his life. Over the last few years, my family tried the best we could, using every tactic we could think of, to help him turn his life around. But, you can't make someone accept your help or make him or her change if they aren't able or willing, especially if they are an adult. After being told the heartbreaking news on the telephone by my loving and distraught parents, I went into my office, closed the door, cried, and sat numbly in prayer. I am not a "religious" person, but I am a very "spiritual" person. I have a strong relationship with a Higher Power and faith in God. My background is Protestant so I specifically asked Jesus and Mother Mary to please take my brother by the hand and escort him into Heaven and to help him be with my relatives who had gone before him. I then said a second prayer - this one to my brother, "Greg, go to the Light and please let me know that you have made it safely into Heaven and that you are with Grandma Brooks, Mama Lou, Pop Pop, Uncle Jim, and the others. Please give me a sign letting me know that you have made it safely into Heaven and are with our family again." I am a Trance Channel, Psychic, Evidential Medium, Energy Healer, and Meditation Guide as most of you already know. I'm used to connecting clients with loved ones who have passed into Heaven. It is a very comforting, uplifting, and healing experience for them and for me. After spending time in prayer, I was putting things away in my office to distract myself when I found a small object on the floor. It was tucked between some boxes in an out-of-the-way place slightly out of reach. I am a neat and organized person. Because the object didn't belong on the floor, I had to pick it up. I reached way back towards the wall to pick up the object. "What is it?" I thought to myself.
It was a small card with a beautiful, serene picture of Mother Mary on it. I had purchased it years earlier at a Catholic gift shop as a form of comfort and support for myself. I felt great relief for I now knew Greg had made it safely into Spirit, that he was with our family there, and that he was at peace. I cried and said a big thank you to Mother Mary and Jesus for their help with my brother and for answering my prayer. Later that same day, which was the day Greg passed, I was talking to my husband, Mark, about my brother. As my husband and I sat solemnly on the couch in the living room trying to comprehend things, suddenly A VERY LOUD WHIRLING SOUND came from outside our 3rd floor apartment. I ran onto the balcony and saw what looked like a NAVY helicopter flying DIRECTLY AT OUR APARTMENT.
Eventually, divorce, depression, loneliness, despair, low self-esteem, alcohol, and Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy CTE overcame my brother. His personality changed and he became unclear in his thinking and actions. When he finally had experienced all the weight of his burdens that he could handle, he decided he had endured enough. Dressed in full military uniform, he took his life so that he would stop feeling the immense pain that he carried.
Therefore, despite my great sadness at his choice to leave this Earth, I eventually took some comfort in knowing that he is at peace and that his unbearable suffering was now over.
I also desperately asked Jesus and Mary to please give me a sign letting me know that my brother Greg had made it safely into Spirit.
This time was different. Although I had been working professionally for 10 years when my brother passed, I desperately asked God for a connection for myself and for my brother on behalf of our entire family and on behalf of the many people who loved Greg.
I wanted to be reassured and comforted in knowing that Greg had made it to Spirit, that he was at peace, safe, and was with our family.
SIGN FROM SPIRIT
Long ago, I had placed the card on top of the table beside my stereo in my office. After praying to Jesus and Mother Mary about my brother, I noticed it had mysteriously moved to the floor, underneath my massage table, and was oddly lying between 2 boxes. How did it get there? When did it move there? How long had it been there?
I looked at the picture of Mother Mary for a moment with surprise and joy, as I remembered my prayer less than 15 minutes earlier, "Jesus and Mary, please give me a sign letting me know that Greg has made it safely into Heaven and that he is now at peace." I then turned the card over and read the printing on the back.
The card said, "Your prayers have been answered."
It came loudly whirling directly towards us. It was about 20-30 feet in the air and went over the top of our end of the building, above our apartment, did a very small circle, came immediately back around, and again flew directly at our apartment and roared over a second time before quickly leaving.
Each time the helicopter flew over our heads, I jumped up and down waving my arms and yelling, "I love you, brother! I love you! I know this is you. I got the message. It's a sign!"
It was an amazing, strange, and incredibly moving spiritual experience. I shared the good news with my family and I just had to share the wonderful news with you in this article.
Greg gave us all the sign I had asked him for.
My brother in Heaven came through the loud roaring and whirling of a Navy or Navy-style helicopter.
It was his way of saying, "I've made it to Spirit. I'm alive. I'm okay. I heard your request. I'm still with you all. I love you all. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'm in Spirit with our family."
The helicopter experience happened less than 2 hours from me praying to my brother for a sign. It came less than 14 hours from his passing. My brother really wanted to get his message across to all of us. His personality and energy was and still are very strong.
NAVY MH-53E Sea Dragon
This is the helicopter we believe we saw fly over our apartment at about 7:00 pm on 7/17/08 during a beautiful, peaceful orange and blue sunset. The military helicopter came directly at us twice and flew VERY low and circled us twice.
It's important to note is that there are no Navy bases near us.
No Navy helicopter has never flown over our apartment before, nor has a helicopter of this type or any type ever flown over us in the 10 years that we have lived here.
As far as we could tell it was a Navy MH-53E Sea Dragon or a military helicopter that resembled something very similar. We know that it was a sign from my brother Greg who was in the Navy 23 years and who passed away that very same day on 7/17/08.
Is it a strange coincidence that a Navy or military helicopter flew directly at our apartment and circled us twice the day Greg passed, while I was talking about him, and shortly after I had prayed for a sign from him letting me know that he was at peace in Heaven? I think not. Thank you, Greg. Awesome!
My brother was passionate about his 2 girls, his family, and the Navy. After his death, Greg wanted to be sure that, despite his leaving, we all knew that he was still very much with us and that he still very much loved us.
My brother in Heaven heard my desperate prayers requesting a sign letting me and my family know that he was safely in Heaven. He answered my request by giving us a very loud, unusual sign - the Navy helicopter circling twice over my home on the day of his passing.
Do I wish Greg had chosen differently? Do I wish he had found a different way to help himself from his suffering? Of course I do. I love him and I will miss his physical presence for the rest of my life.
I will miss his outgoing, jovial presence at our family gatherings. Our family won't be the same with him gone. We will always feel his absence and mourn his loss. I will miss calling him on the telephone and sharing a joke. I will miss teasing him and having him to talk with or being able to turn to him for help.
This is a terrible shock to my family and his girls and yet I cannot condemn him for it.
The most any of us can do, at any given time, in any situation, is our best.
I know Greg did the best he could in a dire situation given his personality and his circumstances. He made a great effort through various ways to let each one of us know how very much he loved and appreciated us prior to his passing. He wanted to be sure his action hurt us as little as possible and he wanted to be sure each of us knew how much we meant to him.
I know Greg didn't mean anything personal by this. I know he never meant to hurt any of us with his decision.
Greg wouldn't have done it unless he was in great pain. He stayed strong as long as he could. He did the best he could. He was a soldier to the very end. At that particular moment, he felt it was his only choice.
I have nothing but unconditional love and great compassion for my brother, his suffering, and the difficult choice he made. I don't condone his decision, nor do I condemn him for it. Naturally, I wish he had sought help and had chosen a different way and that things turned out differently, but it was not my choice to make.
We can't place our own expectations on what we believe others "should" have done according to our ways of thinking.
None of us were in his position or can say with certainty what we would have done had we been in his position. None of us know the depth of his pain, what he was thinking or the severity of his situation.
All we can do is have compassion for him and learn to accept his decision with understanding and love and find ways to heal.
After his passing, I found the inner peace I was seeking through the signs and dreams I received from my brother and Spirit, the readings I received from others, the guidance my Spirit Guides and loved ones in Heaven provided me, and the personal healing I received over the years.
Since my brother's passing, I have had several visitation dreams where my brother and I have visited one another in the Spirit World. We even touched hands in one very powerful dream visitation as our Souls joined together in the Spirit World. Sometimes I feel his presence and hear him say his name when he is with me during my waking hours. He has healed significantly on the other side. He regrets the pain he has caused us, but reminds us that at the time, he felt he had no other choice. He is much happier now and he is with our loved ones, friends, and beloved family dog in Heaven.
Years later, my brother told me he supports me and our family from Heaven. He said to me telepathically, "I was there in the beginning and I will be with you until the end." So beautiful. I cried as I felt his deep love for me and my family and I felt my love for him.
WE LOVE YOU
As adults, we each have the right and responsibility to create our own lives and to make our own choices. Greg always received lots of love and support from his family and friends. Those who knew his situation did the best they could to try and help him and were adamantly pushed away by him. We all reached out to Greg, doing the best we all could, trying every tactic we could think of, and he wasn't able or willing to receive our help. I am learning that I can love people deeply (on Earth and in Spirit) without needing and believing others are the source of my self-worth, love, happiness, and inner peace - even if we are family or friends.
As adults, we each have the right to choose how we live and we each have the responsibility to make our lives joyful and fulfilling. We also have the responsibility to get help when we need it.
Often, when we try to help someone without his or her request for help and without his or her willingness to receive support, we are met with strong resistance as Greg did with us.
My parents have always done the very best they could and the best they knew how. They have always had our best interests in mind. They have always given us as much love and support as they possibly could when we were children and as adults.
We have to let go of any guilt, anger or resentment we may have. We all did the best we could to help him. No one could have prevented Greg's passing.
Nothing anyone did caused Greg's passing. It was his decision alone.
As parents, we do the best we can to raise our children to be healthy, happy, caring, successful, and responsible people living a life that is positive, productive, and meaningful. Once our children become adults, we have to realize that we are no longer their caretakers. As hard as it may be to let go, we are no longer responsible for how our adult children feel, what they do or the choices they make in life.
As much as it hurts to see someone we love suffer or make poor choices, we cannot live someone else's life for them or make changes for them or make them get assistance when they need it. As hard as it is to see our adult children in pain or making choices we don't agree with, we are not responsible for their health, happiness or success in life.
I am learning to have great love for myself, express my needs, take care of myself, and seek healing.
I am learning that I am not responsible for how another adult lives their life. I am not their caretaker. We each have Free Will and are responsible for what we think, feel, say, and do which contributes to our happiness or unhappiness.
I trust that one day I will have understanding about those people and things that seem difficult, outrageous, or unfair.
I choose to be willing to accept the past, present, myself, and others. I ask for help doing so.
Through acceptance and a willingness to heal, I set myself free to truly live.
I also create the inner stillness needed to recognize the love of my family, friends, and pets in Heaven and the love, peace, and guidance of my own Soul and Divine Spirit.
I find forgiveness, peace, comfort, and healing as I surrender to a power greater than myself to guide and support me.
I also claim my personal spiritual power, the power of my Soul and God working in and through me, to move forward with greater love, joy, peace, and ease.
Although I miss you every day more than words can say, I am choosing to trust that you are okay and that I will be okay.
No matter what has happened, know how very much I love you.
I know how very much you love me.
We are bonded forever.
I focus on being thankful that you are no longer suffering.
I have faith that you are happy, healthy, and at peace.
I know you are surrounded by the love of family, friends, and pets in Heaven who are rejoicing in the wonderful reunion.
I continue to have a relationship with you, feel your love, and send you my love as I connect my Soul with yours.
I am learning to experience you, not as a physical presence, but as a living Spiritual Presence in my life - still very much alive, just in a different form - as pure Soul.
I am focusing on being grateful for having you in my life.
I am aware that I am an eternal Soul too and that we can love one another and still communicate Soul to Soul. The bond of love is never broken.
I am remembering the many blessings my brother and loved ones in Heaven who have passed before and after Greg have brought me. I remember them with joy as I am reminded of the good times we had together.
I celebrate my life and their life. I honor myself and them with the way I live.
I do my best to make myself and them proud.
I know that when I am happy, my loved ones in Heaven are happy for me.
I trust those in Heaven will send signs and dreams to let me know they are with me.
I will continue to pray, look, listen, feel, and be aware of their loving presence.
I will send them my love and talk to them because I know they really can see and hear us.
God, please help me open my heart to let in healing and feel the love from others.
I will do my best to enjoy life and share my love as well.
Help me appreciate each day, be the most I can be, and live life to the fullest.
I chose to come here as a Soul temporarily in a body to love, create, learn, heal, and grow.
I am learning to be gentle with myself and others.
I am learning to trust by letting go of expectations and control.
I am learning to navigate my life in partnership with Spirit.
I often sincerely ask my Soul, "What can I learn from this?"
I choose to follow through on the loving inner guidance that comes.
I help those who are in similar situations or needing support in other ways.
Let us all come closer together as a family and as an extended family.
By extending my hands and heart, I also heal myself.
I am comforted in knowing we will be together again one day when the time is right.
Until we meet in Heaven, all my love is with you always.
I know from my work as a Trance Channel, Psychic, Evidential Medium, and Energy Healer that if your loved ones were sick or hurt prior to passing, they are now healthy since they no longer have a physical body.
We are loved and supported by God/Source/Spirit and by our loved ones and pets who have gone before us.
We are not judged or condemned, but we do have a life review in which we learn from our decisions and see the effect our life choices had on others.
I know we will all be together again one day which brings me comfort because I know I will see him again.
Until that day when we are all reunited in God's loving arms, I wish my brother peace. I will continue to love him and remember the happy, fun times. Let us all grow stronger because of this experience in our faith, in ourselves, and in our love and support for each other. I love you, Greg. I miss you. I'll help you take care of your girls. I'll continue to be there for our family. God bless you, Greg. I know we will be together again. I'll love you always. Until we meet again, brother, be well. Be at peace. Your big sister, Gayle "I had the honor of serving along side Senior Chief Greg while on the Staff of Navy Reserve Recruiting Command, New Orleans, Louisiana. Greg was in the manpower shop and I was the National Chief Recruiter. As I look back on this time, I can honestly say that working with Greg was the most fun I have ever had in recruiting. We were a dynamic team, both working for a common goal...helping the recruiters achieve their mission and making national goal imposed by Congress in a most challenging environment. Last year, almost to the day, I spent a week with Greg in Virginia. While there, I had a pre-arranged opportunity to go into a Navy helicopter simulator with Greg. We actually got to fly it for what seemed like over an hour. Greg was having a great time and I didn't have the heart to ask him to give up the controls. As you remember, Greg had a distinctive laugh, this time was no different. He laughed so hard as he landed the bird on the rooftop of some well-known buildings. He was really good at it. You would have thought he had been flying for years. A few days after Greg's passing, I received an email of this same above article written by his sister, Gayle, in which she and her husband, Mark, both saw a military helicopter fly over their building the day Greg passed. I reflected on the great time we had in the simulator and how he enjoyed flying. It's not everyday you can play in a multi-million dollar helicopter simulator with your best friend. As I read Gayle's email, a chill went through me - you know, the kind that gives you goose bumps. In her email, Gayle said that on the day Greg passed, she asked her brother for a sign, any kind of sign, to let her know that he was alright and that he was with family who had gone before him. In her email, she goes on to say that on the evening of the day Greg passed, a Navy helicopter had flown directly towards her, flew directly over her home, and then maneuvered around for a second pass. The helicopter simulator Greg flew and enjoyed so much just one year earlier was the same general helicopter configuration as the one Gayle and Mark describe in their email. Although we can never be 100% sure, what is important is what's in our hearts. There are some events in our life we can't deny or understand, but for me, this is a definite sign that Greg is home among the Angels and knowing Greg, he's up there, doing what he did best - being the best damn Senior Chief Petty Officer that he knew how to be - making sure that Angels are standing the watch next to each and every one of us. Dear Greg's Family: Thank you so very much for allowing me to share a few fond memories of Greg. As I said, Greg was a true gentleman and a GREAT Senior Chief Petty Officer. I was truly proud to have him as a brother and a shipmate. I only wish that you and I were meeting under different circumstances. Again, the Navy helicopter in Gayle's email that she and her husband saw flying over their building the day Greg passed is the same type of helicopter that Greg and I flew last summer. It is the Navy's simulator - the one that all helicopter pilots must qualify in prior to jumping into a cockpit. He enjoy flying it so very much, I didn't have the heart to ask him to jump out and let me take the stick. He was a natural at it. He laughed so hard when he landed on a building. - J.B., Master Chief (USN-RET)
I know that he loved me dearly as well and I thank him for taking the time to express his love for me. I will remember the many, many good times we shared together as a family and I will thank God that we had so many wonderful moments together with this very special person.
Let us love ourselves more deeply so that not one of us will ever again feel the same kind of despair that Greg and others like him felt.
Be at peace and say hello to our family, friends, and our sweet dog in Heaven for me.
I continue to miss you each day.
IMPORTANT NOTE FROM J.B., MASTER CHIEF (U.S. NAVY - RETIRED):
I don't have to guess what she must have been thinking as the loud whirl from the blades and jet engine buzzed overhead. Her request for a sign from Greg was answered. I'm not sure if I would have had thought the same way if this had been a normal flight path, but in the 10 years of living there, this was the first time a helicopter of any type had flown over or near her home and it happened on the day of Greg's passing.
I felt compelled to call Gayle when I learned through her email of her brother's passing to let her know how fortunate I was to have her brother as a friend and shipmate. After talking with Gayle, I immediately felt a closeness with her; I could tell she was a warm and caring person. I told her about our time in the simulator and how he enjoyed it.
She was quiet and then told me she had asked Greg for a second sign the night before I called to confirm that, yes, the helicopter was really a sign from him and that he was really at peace.
I guess because of my telephone call and because of my telling her about the simulator, she knew that my phone call must be the second sign she had asked for from Greg letting her know he was alright.
In looking on the Internet for a helicopter close in configuration as to the simulator Greg and I had used to show Gayle, I found a You Tube clip of a Navy helicopter taking off the deck of a ship in the middle of the ocean.
It was the same type of helicopter that Greg and I flew in the simulator.
I didn't think much of it until I noticed it was the same helicopter that Gayle had seen roaring over her home and had pasted a picture of in her email. This particular helicopter was MH-53E and assigned to HM-15 out of Corpus Christi.
Are these just coincidences or is it something much greater or am I making too much out of this? You decide.
If there is anything you ever need or ever just want to talk, I will always make myself available to you, as I know Greg would have done so for my wife."
WONDERFUL, INSPIRING BOOKS TO READ AT THIS TIME OR ANY TIME:
Healing After Loss - Martha Witmore Hickman
Living When A Loved One Has Died - Earl A. Grollman
We Don't Die - George Anderson
Life After Life - Raymond Moody
Healing Grief: Reclaiming Life After Any Loss - James Van Praagh
Hello from Heaven - Bill & Judy Guggenheim
After Life - John Edward
Grief Expressed: When a Mate Dies - Marta Felber
You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay
Where Angels Walk - Joan Wester Anderson
Divine Guidance - Doreen Virtue
Finding the Quiet Mind - Robert Ellwood
The Secrets of Happiness - Ben Renshaw
The Sunshine on My Face - A Read-Aloud Book for Memory-Challenged Adults - Lydia Burdick (For People with Alzheimer's)
Greg's Family would like to sincerely thank all of you who helped us during this most difficult time.
Your prayers, love, support, flowers, cards, meals, visits, emails, and phone calls have meant so much. We want you to know how grateful we are to have such loving and supportive family, friends, and neighbors. God bless you all. Please let us know when we can help you. We want to support you through life as well.
Over 30 Navy Military Men in Full White Dress Uniforms Gave Their Respects at Greg's Funeral.
Over 450 Caring and Supportive People Attended Greg's Wake and Funeral.
Over 200 Loving Personal Tributes Were Written for Greg from Family and Friends.
Here is a lovely note from a client whose family's experience is similar to mine.
"Hi Gayle, thanks so much for your time during our Psychic Mediumship Reading on Friday. I really enjoyed meeting you and the reading you held with my family helped us all immensely. I hope you also find things easier with the loss of your brother as time goes by. I was so struck by your story about Greg because it was very similar to my brother's.
What I didn't want to tell you in front of my Mom during the reading was that my brother was suffering a lot toward the end in his mind. His family troubles and life in general had caught up with him and he started drinking the last couple years. It wasn't excessive - some would say he was a 'functioning alcoholic', but it was enough to make an impact. Although the way he passed was an unfortunate, freak accident, it was a knock on the effect of the anxiety and mental suffering he had been going through.
As you now know, my brother was always the joker in our family, the happy one with the cheeky grin (thanks for picking up on that!!), the one who made everyone laugh. He was also so strong, noble and true to himself and those he loved and his beliefs - just SOLID is the best way I could describe him. As his younger sister, he was my hero and role model, everything I aspired to be.
When he came out of service after the Gulf War, he was more serious and although he still had those goofy tendencies, something inside me felt we had lost that part of him. I dismissed it as him getting more mature with age. Even as years passed, I would hear of the family problems he was having. He would talk to me in frustration about things and each time I tried to give him advice, I felt I never reached him, that he was listening, but not hearing me. He would never come straight out and ask for help and would often reject it if someone tried to reach him more deeply.
I always questioned what happened during his time in the service. I am proud of what my brother achieved, but angry that I had to lose a part of him that meant so much to me. After coming out of duty, he was never really able to integrate emotionally into life. He clung on to his memories of time in service and I do feel he felt lonely inside. To me, he was a casualty of war, even if the war was so many years ago. He experienced a short lived glory of a great accomplishment and then people move on with their lives and the soldiers are left with very little to support them - in my brother's case, not even his wife. Society is never fully educated on what they've gone through and because they're taught to never be 'weak', they will never ask for help. This will forever be an injustice for me.
Over the last couple of years, I kept telling myself he would stick to his guns, be true to himself, and get through his problems. My brother was too solid to let anyone or anything break him down. My head was saying all those things, but in the pit of my stomach I had a feeling of tragedy. I wish I had paid attention to it more. My head was talking me out of it.
Thanks to my visit to a medium and becoming more attuned with spirituality recently, I'm learning not to harbor guilt or anger and I am trying to accept the cards that life deals us - however painful. I know I have a long way to go still. My family has probably even further to go, but we'll get there.
I am thankful that we found you and that you were able to help me and my family begin our road into healing. I do believe that people cross paths for a reason in life and I don't think it's a coincidence that our stories are similar. Thanks again for your warmth and kindness. I hope you too are able to find peace with your brother's passing soon. Take care."
- Anonymous (Client of Gayle's)
Here are some of the many Tributes written to my brother, Greg.
"Dad, I don't even know what to think. I'm so confused on what all has happened. The only thing I can ask is why? I love you with all my heart and I don't know what to do now that you're gone. You were my world. Even though we didn't see each other all the time or talk as much as I would have liked, you were my hero. I looked up to you in everything you did. I'm in great pain and sorrow now that you're gone.
Please Daddy help me. Help guide me in the things you'd do or want me to do. I promise from now on I will play my soccer games in honor of you because that's what you loved watching us do. I miss you so much and love you with all my heart. I know you are in a better place now. I'm sorry that you weren't happy and I wish there was something we could have done. If anything, this will make me stronger. I love you Dad. You were a great father! I'm happy you are in a better place and you're probably being the life of the party like you were down here on Earth. Don't worry Dad. I'll make you proud."
Your daughter," - Katy G. (Age 16 yrs.)
"Dad, at first, I honestly didn't know what to think or do. I was shocked/sad/confused. Now I understand a lot better. I'm sorry you felt the way you did. I'm relieved that you are pain free, happy, and in Heaven sitting next to God. You're remembered for what an amazing, talented, outgoing, just all around great person and father you were. Every time I turn my head, I see something that reminds me of yet another event or memory with you that I will cherish forever.
Dad, you're my hero. You are my pride, my heart, and most of all, my father. Strengthen me. Help me and my sister. We miss you and we're hurting. We love you! Thank you for everything you've ever done for me - all the lessons you've taught me, and for giving me such great memories. I promise you I'll make you proud. I will be stronger from this. I'll get a great education and I'll play every soccer game for you. You're an inspiration to all. I understand and I love you more than anything."
Your daughter," - Jamie G. (Age 15 yrs.)
"Greg, I want to tell you how much I loved you. When you were born, we were so excited. We told all our friends at Indiana University, "It's a boy. His name is Greg." We were so proud!
You've made our family happy all these years. We are going to miss you terribly, but we know you're now in God's hands and at peace. We will always love and miss you Greg."
- Your Mom
"Dear Greg, thanks for these wonderful, fun-filled memories. They will live in my heart forever. God and peace be with you till we are together again. Birth-our first son!
Your earliest year-crawling, walking, and talking. Starting school, our Lones Drive house and friends, Southwood Drive house and friends, tire swing, tree forts, garden planting, crab apple fights, the pool, school bus tales, family Florida vacations, wave body surging, Tennessee firecracker purchases at Crazy Eds, Little League baseball years together, lawn mowing jobs, snow shoveling jobs, Blizzard of 1978 - no electric 3+ days, cold house, Scouting years - camp outs, summer camps, Bruce Trail hike, Philmont Ranch, Key West High Adventure, Merit Badges, Scoutmaster Place and other scouts, Eagle Scout achievement with pride,
driveway sealing business activities, Sealer Mobile, learning about investments, family tent camping weekends, vacations, Scottish Inns, Motel 6 experiences, western tent camper vacation (Sands Hotel Parking lot), all your hometown buddies, painting team support banners in basement, eating goldfish at ballgame, active playing seasonal sports, your bumps, bruises and broken bones, family TV sports gatherings on weekends,
playing with our dog, school activities - football, baseball, basketball, wrestling and being a good student, learning to drive in Ft. Meigs Cemetery, graduation, your motorcycle, leaving for the Navy, your marriage, our first granddaughter, our second granddaughter, visiting your home and horse farm houses, shelling many pecans together, your teaching the girls soccer, kite-flying, fishing and about life, watching your daughters show horses and play in soccer matches, your steady advancement to Senior Chief in the Navy, the respect and friendship shown by your service buddies wherever you were assigned, bass and deep-sea fishing experiences with family and friends, family reunions, playing golf, horseshoes, rattle-rail toss, and jarts.
I know other great memories of you will be remembered. With love and a heavy heart,"
- Your Dad
"To the Best Big Brother, everyone says time will heal the pain and sorrow. I'm not so sure. I feel so hollow inside and need a hug from you brother. I realize this wasn't about us, any of us, but it still hurts so bad. My fingers can hardly stop trembling as I type this special note. I hope you saw how much were loved. You truly have some remarkable friends - loving, devoted, and loyal - just like you!
I will never forget you my brother. You will always be in my heart and soul. You are my Guardian Angel!!! Keeping you close - now and forever - I love you! I miss you more than you will ever know big brother!!! I still had so many things to share with you and I feel so robbed. I hope you are finally at peace and I will NEVER forget you and your bright shining smile!! My heart has such a big hole in it without you here. You were such a friend to all and the best big brother I could have ever had. All my love to you,"
- Kristi E. (Sister)
"Greg, you will be sorely missed, but I am comforted by knowing that your pain has healed and you are in a better place. I am sorry that you were overcome by things in this life that are insidious to human life. I know you are now with those we love who have passed on. I will celebrate your zest for life and cherish the great things you offered to this country and to your family and friends.
I will remember you as a role model in many great ways on the playing field, as a brother, fellow countrymen, classy individual, and father of two amazing girls. I will do my very best to see that they have every opportunity you would have wanted them to have in life. You gave them so much while you were with them and us and we will miss you. Just know that I can still whup you in horseshoes, rattle tail (well, maybe) and basketball.
I will learn from this to make a difference in my worldly contributions to make sure you did not pass in vain. May the Peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you. I know (this is corny, but) you would have wanted to tell our family and friends this - as Spock said to Cpt. J. Kirk, 'Live Long and Prosper!' God Bless,"
- Kirk G. (Brother)
"Greg, thank you for all the wonderful memories. You know we all loved you so much. I know God has you in the palm of his hand. We will miss you so much. You were like our second son. Love,"
- Eleanor P. (Friend)
"For days I have thought about what I wanted to say. This has been such a shock to me. I can still see you everywhere I go. When I am walking and riding by bicycle, you are there. I remember your devilish little smile and all the good times we had together. In scouting, I'll never forget the time you sent the new guy after a left-handed smoke shifter for the campfire! We had great times camping and hiking in Canada and fishing in Costa Rico.
Our families had fun camping at Lake St. Mary's and the Funny Farm (where you won a free weekend camping). I think of you on the tractor rides at Aunt Ruth and Uncle Art's farm. Greg, how can I ever forget those times and YOU? You are a special young man in my heart. I will mss your calls and YOU very much. I love you and I pray that GOD has lifted you up on eagle's wings and bear you on the breath of dawn and made you to shine like the sun. I know that he is holding you in the palm of his hand. May you rest in peace now. Your friend and Scoutmaster,"
- Blaine P. (Friend)
"Greg, I can't begin to find the words that express the love and happiness that you brought to my life and to the others around you. I will always hold dear our inter-twined families and the fun that we had growing up together and the man that you grew into. You were the brother I didn't have and I love you deeply.
My fondest memories are of growing up together on Lones Drive. Going on camping trips to Rustic Haven, tractor rides and hot dog roasts at Uncle Art and Aunt Ruth's farm, Boy Scouts, Miley's and fishing in the river (catching so many fish that we would be up until 2am cleaning them all). We had a great childhood, in a great neighborhood, with great neighbors and friends, in a great town. There was never a shortage of fun and laughter. I will always remember our last big trip together before you enlisted in the Navy to Canada. Loading up the car and boat we had painted camouflage with 3' bullhorns on the bow that you had brought back from Houston. We had a great time (even getting chased by the bear, but running with dignity). All that we had as kids and growing up have given me great memories.
I hope that you have found peace. To Greg's Family - It is difficult for someone like Greg to be taken from us so soon. I can only hope that you are able to find comfort and peace that Greg was loved and respected by everyone who had the privilege of meeting him. You are my extended family and I love you all more than words can express. Greg will be missed dearly! I love you,"
- Randy P. (Friend)
"There are no words to express the deep sadness within my heart...MEMORIES...I will honor you always by reflecting on them with fondness and laughter. Lones Drive, Halloween costumes, dirt clod wars with the McPherson's in the field behind their house, making Kristi cry by calling her doll Patty Pancake (Sorry, Kristi) YOU stepping on bugs (God's creatures!) and making me cry, the carnivals we'd have in the circle and the baseball games, riding in the back of Momma Lou and Pop Pop's car and screaming with laughter how he'd push his hat low and slouch down and act like he was a race car driver,
Uncle Art and Aunt Ruth's house in Bowling Green and tractor rides with weenie roasts, ghost in the grave yard, camping, the station wagons, the time you pulled the lightning bugs lights off to make glowing jewels that stuck on our arms, squashing bees under Dixie cups and then GRINNING at me, the times you'd laugh so hard no noise came out of your mouth...but your eyes were always HUGE, the time you sent a message in a bottle in Canada that you were shipwrecked and it sailed across the bay and I found it, me getting your house with toilet paper and you and your DAD sat on the roof with the water hose later in the week determined to get me back...Miley's Resort...Gayle and I getting caught by you guys as we were trying to smoke corn husks like Huckleberry Finn at the boy scout camp!
Remember...dressing up crazy with all of our family and welcoming Gayle home at the airport...every childhood memory of Lones Drive, every memory of scouting...every memory of our families together and your infectious laughter makes me smile. I am so thankful I had you to share my life with...you were a brother...and always will be. I love you,"
- "Shark" - Shari Z. (Friend)
"Dearest Greg, we will always remember you growing up on Lones Drive and all the fun (and lots of mischief) that you and Jay had (or got into). We will never forget the stripping of the neighbor's mountain ash tree, the time you and Jay got stuck up to your knees in the mud in the field in back of our house, the day your put tar in the Murphy girl's hair from the goo in the street, "painting" Carl Johnson's freshly painted house with mud, going to the McCord gym with Jack, Jay, Jeff, Jon, and Joey and going camping with us.
We will never forget your smile and your love of fun. Our families were a special group growing up together in a special neighborhood. Greg, you were like a son and a brother to our family. Losing you is like losing one of our own. We thank you so much for all of the wonderful memories and we will NEVER forget the joy you brought to us. God's Blessings of Peace, Greg. All of our love,"
- Jack M. and Joanne M. (Friends)
"To Greg's whole family: our words can not begin to express how deeply saddened we were to hear of Greg's passing. He has touched so many lives and so many memories have been made better because of him. I will personally never forget his incredible smile. As for Jon, there are so many memories of Greg and our families together that he will always cherish and never forget.
Greg, you will be missed by all. God be with you. Rest peacefully. All our love,"
- J.M. and K.M. (Friends)
"To Greg's family: I know there are many questions and very few answers but I hope you take comfort that you are in our thoughts and prayers."
- J. M. (Friend)
"We are lighting candles for you, Greg, because you obviously have been a light in many people's lives. You have so many people who love you, and who will always remember how special you are. Stay close to them during this time of adjustment as they get used to not being able to see or touch you, but can always feel your presence."
- Laurie H. (Friend)
"Dear Gayle, thank you so much for the wonderful note. Your dedication to Greg is absolutely beautiful. I cried all the way though it, but am much more at peace when I reached the end. I know that Greg gave you the signs that he is in Heaven with family who went before and he is now and forever happy.
Greg's passing is still unbelievable to me. My husband and I both have such a void in our hearts but also such abundant and happy memories of Greg. They say time heals...it really doesn't "heal" because we will always feel the pain, but the memories of Greg in his happiest years, growing up with our son on Lones Drive and through high school, watching him play sports and following his career and family over the later years helps ease the hurt.
Our son is still devastated and doesn't quite understand it all. I know he will cry also after reading your tribute to Greg. We are now focusing of your Mom and Dad. They are so wonderful. I have a coffee date with your Mom for next Tuesday morning. I will see or call them often. Idleness and too much time to think is the worst thing they can have. That is where all of the friends they have here will play a big part. I was so thankful that I could be of some help last week during the wake and after the funeral. My job is not done yet and will not be for years to come. If you can think of anything I can help your Mom and Dad with, that I have not thought of, please let me know.
I thoroughly enjoyed seeing you at the church supper after the funeral and hearing you laugh the same laugh I remember way back when. You are a delight. We love your Mom and Dad and all of their precious offspring. You are all "family" to us. If there is anything I can do for you, Gayle, please let me know. Even if it is just e-mailing your thoughts or having concerns about your Mom's and Dad's well-being. Thank you again for your e-mail and for sharing your dedication. I expect to hear back from you in the not so distant future. Love and blessings,"
- Joanne M. (Friend)
"My Dearest Gayle, thank you so much for the moving and inspirational message you have shared with us. It brought me to tears. I talked with my friend a little while ago and she felt the same way. I think I'm going to print it and let my Mom read it since my father also took his own life many years ago.
We think we "know" this stuff, but something like this really brings it home and makes it real. I felt the same way when I went to your Group Mediumship Presentation in Bedford, MA where you helped people connect with their loved ones who had crossed into Spirit.
It really reinforced my faith and belief that there is a life after this one...or maybe even that the "real" life begins after this one. Anyway my friend, I know how troubled you were about your brother's suffering and it comforts me to know that you are at peace with this and that you know he is too. You are always in my thoughts - whether I call or email or not, know that I think of you all the time and it is like you are right here with me. You are my soul sister and one of the truest and best friends I have. I treasure our friendship. I send all my love to you both."
- Jan L. (Friend)
"THE BROKEN CHAIN"
We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.It broke our hearts to lose you. You did not go alone
For part of us went with you the day God called you home.You left us peaceful memories. Your love is still our guide
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.- Unknown
In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we will remember him.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we will remember him.In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, we will remember him.
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we will remember him.In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we will remember him.
When we are weary and in need of strength, we will remember him.When we are lost and sick at heart, we will remember him.
When we have joys we yearn to share, we will remember him.So long as we live, he too shall live, for he is now a part of us, as we remember him.
- Unknown
SPIRIT CHANNELED POEM
This beautiful channeled poem came to me today.
I hope it brings you comfort and peace. Enjoy.
"I know a Home awaits for me
beyond the river glen.
It's only a short boat ride
until I'm with you then.
For now, I'll do my best
to live in peace, not sorrow,
take pleasure in the simple things
and look forward to tomorrow.
Every day I think of you
and wish that you were here.
My heart longs to be next to yours
and hold you close, my dear.
For now, let's be together
every moment of the day
and when the good Lord calls for me,
I'll be heading straight your way."
Channeled 091922
Copyright 2022 Gayle Kirk